Finding Ourselves Aging in a World of Youth isn’t for the Faint of Heart.

Rev. Arabella
5 min readApr 2

But here comes grandma being all big and bold and sexy… outta my way!

Hi. I’m grandma. I’m not entirely sure how I got here, yet here I am. I am one of millions whom have “found” themselves aging as though it just happened one day. Seems silly doesn’t it? I mean all we have to do is look in the mirror to see the years sagging in places we didn’t know existed prior. But the mind is a youthful prankster full of sexy that just happens to be trapped in this aging body.

And for women, in particular, we get to 50 plus and have already spent a lifetime in hatred for the vessel which allowed us the opportunity to birth children, become a grandmother or be someone’s lover. But, eh gads! The self-hatred is tangible in every woman I’ve ever met.

Not only negative self talk, but a recurrent stream of shame for eating a bite of ice cream, or only having a Tic Tac for dinner because “I HAVE to be thinner,” or restraining ourselves from pleasures in our lives in order to fit inside the box of being a good girl. I can tell you that being a sacred slut to your partner is a delicious pleasure which I highly encourage. Yum!

Oh my! Back to the bodies of shame… how dare us have rolls, stripes, dimples where we gave Stretch Armstrong a run for his money when pregnant, had chronic illnesses while still taking care of our families, or even became addicted to food…which seems to be one of the last acceptable prejudices to have in America. I mean, it’s okay to be a drug addict, narcissist, beat your partner or a fucking drunk but, “God dammit woman! Put down that doughnut!” …

“I paint myself because I am so often alone and because I am the subject I know best.” ― Frida Kahlo.

But 50 seems to be a magical number for many of us ladies because we ease into…”Well, fuck it! Let’s have some fun now.”

I kid you not! The absolute best sex of my life, the most self esteem, freedom in being myself, and expression of such, has all happened since about 49.5 years old. I simply do not care to please anyone other than myself.

I had just spent the past 49.45 years of giving every ounce of me to everyone else, all the time…

Rev. Arabella

Host of Bedtime With Bella Sexual Healing Podcast - Exploring Unique Paths to the Divine through Sex & Love